Long time no post?

Er, I'm back! Kind of. The last 2 months have been more of the dreaded waiting pattern. I've been accepted into NIU, now what? Practice like hell, review theory, get ready to kick academics in the ass. About 6 weeks until school starts up, and God, I'm bored. Summer is in full swing now, and after about a month of enjoying the heat, I'm sick of it. I always get like this around July, wistful for the fall, the cooler weather, going back to school.

Part of it is that I'm lonely. Fernando and I are doing better than ever, but I have no other friends here. I moved to Illinois so I could hang out with my best friend Suzi more, and then she breaks up with her boyfriend Paul and moves back to Michigan. Fernando and I had kind of been getting to know Paul's friends, kind of becoming a part of their friend circle, but as soon as Suzi left, that went away. So the two of us are kind of alone here. Isolated. We both crave friendship. Maybe another couple to hang out with, go on double dates with. People to go on adventures with! Going back to school isn't just new possibilities for my future, it is a new beginning for my relationships with others too. When I was at WMU, I was closed off and antisocial. I was with a person who didn't encourage other relationships and all my free time was spent taking care of him. It's a long story that I don't want to get into, but the point is, things are different now. I'm older, more mature (at least a little), and eager to make friends.

I think the realization hit me a few weeks ago. A lot of people I know are getting married this summer, and it made me think about my own wedding. How they have close friends they ask to stand for them, whereas I can only think of a handful. One or two at the most. And Fernando's sister. It's . . . kind of sad.

I think that will be one of my goals at school. To try and make at least one good female friend. I have guy friends coming out of my ears; it's always been easy for me to relate to guys. It's harder with girls. I'm more like a guy than anything- I mean, I have a girly side, but for crying out loud, I'm a nerd. I like video games and Star Wars, RPG's and Beethoven. There aren't many people, let alone girls that I can relate to.

At the very least, I'm going to try and be less antisocial at school. I'll try to open up a little more.